This Hole In My Chest
by My Shadow Is My Friend
Summary: Phil left Clint so heartbroken that the archer turned into Tony. Can a month of alcohol and one-night stands be fixed by the truth coming out?


**A/N: Hey, guys! :D **

**So, I was like… 'Dude, Clint must be heartbroken, thinking that Phil is dead…" And thus this fic, in which he turns into pre-Iron Man Tony, was born. Sorry it's just another one-shot, but I might be able to make it up to you later. I have an epic multi-chapter story plot and I'm thinking about putting it up here.**

**The story would be AU. In it, Phil is a prince and Clint is a sniper for hire. I would incorporate all of The Avengers in there somewhere, but I can't really promise anyone outside the team. Let me know what you think!**

**Back to **_**this **_**story, now. :D**

**Enjoy. ~**

**Warnings: Slash, Semi-Excessive-Ish Cussing**

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything, the movie would've ended differently. And Phil wouldn't have died. **

Three weeks and six days. That's how long it has been since Phil died. Every night I end up here. I always sit in this same seat at this same bar. It's been twenty-seven days and every night I manage to find some new stranger to take home. Everyone keeps commenting behind my back about how I turned into Tony, but I don't care. I need someone.

Someone needs to catch me, because I'm falling. Someone needs to help me pick up the broken pieces that I've turned into. But no matter what I do I'll never be happy. Because the true love of my life is dead. He's six feet underground until the end of time. And there's nothing I can do about it.

I smile a bit as the bartender passes me another drink. I down it in a matter of seconds before asking for another and out of the corner of my eye I see him. The guy is gorgeous… Or, at the very least, I'm just so drunk that I can't recognize him as being hideous. But either way, I plan on taking him home with me tonight.

He notices me staring at him and sits down next to me. "Hey stranger; I don't have something on my face do I?" He laughs as he talks, but I focus on my drink. "I'm Aaron." I shake the hand he offers me and try to push back any thoughts about Phil that still float around my head. The point of this is to get rid of my pain.

"I'm Clint. It's nice to meet you." He smiles and I finish the drink in my hand. "Want to get out of here?" The look in his eye answers my question and I grab his hand and drag him out of the bar. Maybe he can help me feel better..?

…

I wake up with a massive headache and a stranger tangled up with me. I don't remember the guy's name, but I do know he isn't that pretty. I push up out of bed abruptly, waking up the not-really-handsome stranger. "I think it's time you go." I throw his clothes at him and get myself dressed. "_Now_, sir." I bite my lip to bite back the tears.

I always called Phil sir… Unless we were at home, I always called him sir. He wanted us to be able to be professional at work. I can do professional. It's difficult, but I can be professional. The stranger in my room looks at me with sad eyes. "You're not over him, are you?" I shake my head as the tears beg to flood my cheeks again. "I understand, Clint." He briefly kisses my cheek. "My name's Aaron, by the way."

I immediately remember him introducing himself last night and I feel like an idiot. How could I forget something as simple as that? "Thanks…" I mumble a few more words to myself before dragging out of my room and to the front door. I can't stand the apartment Phil and I shared anymore, so I'm staying at Stark Tower with everyone else and I really hope no one is awake yet.

Of course, with my luck, _everyone _is awake. They all stare as my twenty-seventh one-night stand exits the building. Tony snickers and looks up. "What is that? Twenty-eight? You're almost as bad as I used to be." I glare at him, not wanting to put up with anyone's bullshit.

"Twenty-_seven_, thank you very much. And at least I have a reason, whereas you just liked to flaunt your fame in everyone's faces." Without another word I slowly make my way back to my room and I'm fully aware of the redheaded assassin behind me. I let her come in my room before I say anything. "What's wrong with me, Nat?" She gives me a sad smile and places a hand on my shoulder.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Clint. You just miss him." I nod, not having any clue what to say. "I have a friend I want to set you up with tonight." Oh god; now Nat's playing cupid? "I know you're going to like him and I already called him so you can't say no." I release the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Fine, whatever. I'll do it, but I'm only promising tonight."

…

I'm standing in front of the giant mirror in my room, aggravated. Nat insisted I look nice tonight, so I sort of dressed up. I'm wearing a light blue button-up top with denim jeans and my favorite boots. I even put on a black tie, but only because Nat wouldn't let me leave without one. "Satisfied?" She smirks and nods excitedly.

"You look great, Clint." I try to smile, but I know she's already caught onto my nervousness. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. It isn't like he's some psycho who's going to try to kill you." My eyebrows shoot up in shock.

"Thanks for putting _that _image into my head!" She places her hands on my shoulders and the way she stares into my eyes reminds me of Phil. – and _damn it – _I'm thinking about him again.

"_Relax_, Clint. It's going to be fine."

…

I stood outside of the restaurant I was supposed to meet Nat's mystery friend at for an entire hour before giving up and leaving. I ended up here again. I'm sitting, once again, in the same seat and the same bar that I've been coming to for nearly an entire month. I down another drink as I try to get the feeling of guilt to go away.

A black haired man with beautiful teeth sits down next to me. He stares at me, but all I can think is how he must still have his mother dress him. That shirt with those pants? You've gotta be fucking shitting me. "You look nice tonight. Get stood up earlier?" I glare at him with a clenched jaw. The first sentence that comes out of his mouth and I already want to punch him.

"I don't get stood up." I state with a lack of expression. He has the guts to reach for my hand and I try to pull mine away in disgust. Seriously, who the fuck does this guy think he is? But he's stronger than me, so it doesn't work… "Let go of me, damn it!" The man refuses and I hit him on the shoulder.

He lifts a fist only to be stopped by a hand encompassing his. "He asked you to let go. I would advise you do so." The black haired man backs off and goes to bother someone else and I stare at the other man with wide eyes. "You didn't come to the diner, Clint. Natasha told me you'd be here. May I sit?"

I nod and I know that, despite how I try not to cry in front of people, tears start making their way down my cheeks.

The two of us sit there for an entire hour before either of us says anything. And it's me who breaks the silence after finishing what was probably my twelfth or so drink of the night. "I thought you were dead." My voice slurs as I mumble out my statement, but he just smiles sympathetically and places his hand on mine.

"I was against it from the beginning, but Fury insisted. He thought it'd be best for me to 'die' for a little while." I feel anger welling up inside me at the mere thought. "He said we'd tell you the truth when the timing was best, but that didn't really happen. Natasha discovered the secret and told me about you… I can't believe it."

"I missed you." He pulls me in for a short hug, telling me it's all right. I plant my face into his shoulder, relishing in the fact that he's here. I look up and stare into his eyes. "You left a gaping hole in my chest, Phil. Don't ever leave me again." He places a hand to my cheek and gives me a quick kiss.

"Wouldn't dream of it, babe." With that, he grabs my hand and leads me out of the bar. We walk all the way to Stark Tower as we catch up on some things. He's been gone a month, but as we talk it seems like it has been so much longer.

…

I wake up with Phil still entangled into my side. For the first time in a month I have a genuine smile on my face. I place a feather-light kiss on his forehead and _god have I missed this._ His gorgeous eyes open slowly and I place another kiss onto his nose, just how I used to, and, as always, he blushes an intense red. "G'morning, Phil."

"Good morning, Clint." I interlock our fingers and pull him in closer to me, which, prior to, I hadn't thought possible. I clutch him tighter as I hear voices in the kitchen a floor down. I can hear everyone's speculations, especially Thor's, about when I'm going to come out today. I cringe a bit at the conversation, which doesn't go unnoticed by Phil. "It's all right, Clint. I understand that it's hard to lose someone."

"No one could replace you, Phil." He places a kiss on my lips and I melt. It might sound sappy and girly, but hey, I can't help it. I love the man and love makes you do crazy things. "Should we go tell the others?" He takes a minute to think about it before nestling his head into my chest and the warmth from his body feels so goddamn _good_.

"Not yet. I'm comfortable right where I am." My boyfriend can be a bit of a sap at times, but I love him. And he wouldn't the Phil I know and love if he didn't have his moments. Besides, he puts up with me and that's gotta count for something.

The strange thing is I don't mind lying here doing nothing. I love him and I'll be as still and quiet as he wants. Just as long as he doesn't leave me again. And as Phil starts placing kisses up my neck to my jaw, I decide the team can wait.

**A/N: So... opinions? I'd really like to know what you guys think.**


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